A Stolen Oppourtunity
by Rhea-samma
Summary: The aggravating thing about death is that it takes away chances that one might have had, and there is no way to regain them. Reflections on Hijiri.


Hisoka always seems to be a bit inordinatly angry at Hijiri when he wakes up in meifu, and let's face it-it's too early for him (in more ways than one) to be jealous of him and Tsuzuki. So what could it be?  
Tsuzuki's not the only confused by their similarities...

* * *

Hisoka stared at the bandaged, dark-haired youth on the bed, a scowl deeper than usual resting on his features. His emerald gaze lingered resentfully on the gauze wrappings around the musician's slender neck. All of it seemed highly unfair to Hisoka, that Hijiri could live the life of normalcy _he'd_ been robbed of. To go to a public school, have friends, share life, love, and laughter. To have all of that and yet also have the choice to _end_ it all. Suicide-one of the many comforts the young Shinigami had been denied in life. Even if Hisoka'd had the strength to go through with the much coveted act, strict rules and regulations within the hospital ward would have made that choice an impossibility anyways. As it was, the youth had barely had the energy to turn the pages of a book-on his good days. A quiet, amused voice from the doorway startled him from his thoughts.

"If you glare at the boy any harder Hisoka, you may end up burning a hole through him. Does the likeness bother you that much?" Unwittingly, Hisoka clenched his fists and turned his head to glance at his partner,

"It's more the _un_likeness that bothers me." An ebony brow quirked, and Tsuzuki didn't need to voice the curiosity that Hisoka felt from him. He turned to face the other man, trying to justify the uncalled for bitterness in his observations of the boy. "It's just that.. I mean... " His voice was painfully small and tight, warning him against making such a personal confession. Biting his lip, Hisoka plunged forward anyways, "I suffered for three years..wanting.. And craving death. Yeah this kid has had his hard knocks," He gestured at the still sleeping form, "but only after a couple weeks of really suffering.. That kind of hunger... He gets to..." A slashing motion across his jugular, "It's just not fair." Hisoka blinked furiously and turned away from Tsuzuki's carefully inscrutable face, unable to articulate himself any further.

Hisoka blew a section of bangs out of his face agitatedly, "If we hadn't been there this kid would've..." Tsuzuki considered Hisoka thoughtfully,

"So are you glad that we stopped him?" The boy shrugged,

"Maybe. I don't know." A pause. Then, "Why does he have to look so much like me? It complicates everything." The pout/sulk was back in action. "On the one hand I can't help but think 'how dare he try and end his life,' but on the other end I see me laying in a hospital bed and... It's too confusing. It's making my head hurt." Tsuzuki clucked his tongue sympathetically,

"Maybe you should head out for the day? He probably won't wake until tomorrow anyways according to Watari." Hisoka turned the glare on him,

"I'm not going to take the day off every time we do a case like his. I'm not going home, so don't waste your breath trying to convince me. I don't need any special treatment." Tsuzuki cringed a little and held up his hands,

"Gah! Alright! I'm sorry, it was just a suggestion. There's nothing wrong with keeping yourself in top condition either Hisoka!" The boy crossed his arms stubbornly,

"I _would_ say I won't take the day off unless you do, but since you're such a slacker that doesn't mean much, now does it?" The older man grinned easily,

"Nope! Not really." Hisoka withheld another disparaging remark and turned to leave the room.

"I'm going to the library, you should finish your paper work from the Hisae case. It's been over three months, Tatsumi might have a coronary if you keep him waiting any longer." Tsuzuki grinned impishly,

"I'll think about it." Hisoka rolled his eyes,

"Don't expect me to mourn when Tatsumi kills you a second time." His partner sniffed and wiped away an imaginary tear,

"Meanie."

"Moron." And with the customary half-hearted barbs exchanged, Hisoka left the room to find sanctuary in the library, and perhaps a headache remedy from one of the medicine cabinets.


End file.
